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Tools
for Clients | Tools
for Lawyers & Legal Assistants | Tools
for Mediators & Arbitrators Tools for ClientsDirectory
of Resource Topics for Clients
ReadingWe believe the following information will help you learn to be a better parent, help explain the divorce process, and help you understand how breaking up affects a child. These materials often reflect the philosophy of the courts in determining what is in the child's best interests.
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Men
Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus : One of the best books recently written on how men and women interact with each other and why there seem to be so many difficulties communicating with each other. A best seller for many years and with good reason. |
How
to Avoid the Divorce from Hell: An easy to read book full of practical advice on avoiding the most common pitfalls during divorce. Practical advice on keeping open communications and civility during the divorce process. |
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What
is Marriage For? An historical review of marriage and how it evolved over time from an estate planning tool to what it is today. Also reviewed as a look "at the legal, sociological, and anthropological assumptions about money, sex, procreation, tribal affiliation, and the pursuit of personal happiness that underlie the concept of matrimony in Western societies." |
How
to Avoid the Divorce from Hell : Divorce is painful and unpleasant under the best of circumstances, but it doesn't have to be hell. Learn how to avoid common pitfalls that lead to war, substitute constructive solutions, and increase the likelihood that you and your spouse can have a civilized divorce, for your own sake and that of your children. |
click to buy
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Between
Love and Hate: A Guide to Civilized Divorce Ms. Gold is past President of the Academy of Family Mediators and is in private practice in Oregon. This book is the result of over 20 years of helping couples work through the crisis of ending marriages constructively and creating a foundation for healing. Most divorcing couples want to end their marriages in a manner that preserves their dignity and spares their children the agony of a long, ugly legal battle. This book describes seven keys to preventing a divorce from becoming an adversarial contest. It describes a model for what divorcing parents can do that is positive for themselves, their spouse, and their children. Learn an adult process of disengaging from marriage and moving towards healing, parenting during and after divorce, and preparing for and successfully mediating divorce agreements.
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Getting
Past No: Negotiating Your Way from Confrontation to Cooperation A guide to successful negotiation shows readers how to stay cool under pressure, stand up for themselves without provoking opposition, deal with underhanded tactics, find mutually agreeable options, and more. It offers strategies for dealing with someone who is angry, unreasonable, deceitful, or stubborn and who does not want to negotiate. Learn how to turn adversaries into negotiating partners.
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Getting
to Yes: How to Negotiate Agreement Without Giving In Two negotiation experts from Harvard offer a universally applicable method for negotiating personal and professional disputes without getting taken—and without getting nasty. Concise, step-by-step, proven strategies aid the reader in coming to mutually acceptable agreements in any type of conflict. |
The
Divorce Mediation Answer Book: Save Time, Money, anbd
Emotional Energy With a Mediated Separation Or Divorce This book explains the mediation process and what to expect from mediators regarding settlement hot spots. The question-and-answer format makes it easy to find specific information about major issues such as parenting and financial decisions. |
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Finding
the Time for Fathering Publisher; Ballentine Books, 1992 (out of print and hard to find) How fathers can share more of their lives with their children-in work, chores and play. Offers valuable insights into every father's unique influence on the social, intellectual, and emotional development of his children. |
Between
Father and Child : Publisher: Penguin Books, 1989 (out of print and hard to find) How to become the kind of father you want to be, including how to communicate (talk and listen) with your child, four reasons kids don't talk to dads, how to no (nicely), how to settle arguments, child development and reconstituted families. |
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Active
Parenting Today Parent's Guide : You will learn to sharpen your skills as a parent and learn ways to better handle some of the typical problems that you will face as a parent. (Reviewed by Stephen D. Thompson) |
The
Baby Book : William Sears is considered by many to be the Dr. Spock of the 1990s. He writes a monthly column in Parenting Magazine, and appears regularly on morning news shows. This book is an excellent source of information and advice for parents of newborns and children. |
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Your XX Year Old series This series is highly recommended by psychologists and gives good advice about how your child is developing mentally and physically through each of the first 14 years of life. |
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Your
One-Year-Old: The Fun-Loving, Fussy 12-To 24-Month-Old |
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Your
Two-Year-Old: Terrible or Tender |
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Your
Three-Year-Old: Friend or Enemy
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Your
Four-Year-Old: Wild and Wonderful
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Your
Five-Year-Old: |
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Your
Six-Year-Old: |
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Your
Seven-Year-Old: |
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Your
Eight-Year-Old: |
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Your
Nine-Year-Old: |
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Your
Ten-to-Fourteen Year-Old |
Dinosaurs
Divorce: A Guide for Changing Families This is an excellent picture book to use with children who are preschool to third grade. It provides a structured way to explain the divorce and answer a child's inevitable questions about why. It is designed to be read together by the parent and child. The parent inevitably learns something as well. (Reviewed by Stephen D. Thompson) also in paperback |
 click to buy |
Helping
Your Kids Cope With Divorce: The Sandcastles Way This warm, empathetic guide is filled with specific suggestions for helping the whole family cope. Age-appropriate scripts (for toddlers, preschoolers, six- to eight-year olds, nine- to twelve-year olds, and thirteen- to seventeen-year olds) will give you exactly the right words in order to say just enough but not too much when explaining divorce to your child. Dozens of special activities, from drawing and playing with action figures to compiling photo albums and even baking cookies, will help you get closer to your child while inviting him or her to communicate problems that are difficult to express in words. The book is also packed full of suggestions on everything from the best way to break the divorce news to a child (it differs according to age group) to facing the holidays, visitation, custody arrangements, anger, discipline, co-parenting, single parenting, overcompensation, sorrow, and custody fights. |
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Explaining the Breakup |
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It's
Not Your Fault, Koko Bear: A Read-Together Book for Parents
& Young Children During Divorce How do you talk to your children about your divorce? How can you best handle their responses? Here's a children's book and parenting tool rolled into one. It's Not Your Fault, Koko Bear is a picture book designed to be read by parents to their children. Koko Bear's parents are getting a divorce, and Koko, a preschool-aged unisex bear, isn't happy about it. "I don't like this divorce. I don't want two homes," Koko says. Koko Bear's story doesn't minimize kids' pain, but it doesn't wallow in it either. The message is positive: children are reassured that their feelings are natural, that their parents still love and will care for them, and that the divorce is not their fault. At the bottom of each page, there are bullet points for parents that give information and advice about what the kids are going through, and the best way to handle each issue as it arises. (Ages 3 to 7 and parents) |
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Shared Parenting |
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Sharing
the Children: How to Resolve Custody Problems and Get
on With Your Life Publisher: Adler & Adler, Publishers, Inc., 1988 (out of print and hard to find) A book on how to resolve custody problems and get on with your life. This book discusses life after divorce, moving from conflict to cooperation, the facts and myths of children and divorce, what to expect from the legal system, how everyone can, and indeed must, win for there to be peace. It also discusses the task of separating, understanding your child's needs in the divorce process, win-win negotiating, rebuilding after the divorce, coping with the change of remarriage, and helping your children to grow up winners. This is an excellent book for a concerned parent to read when going through a divorce. It coordinates most of the research and understanding gained from Mom's House, Dad's House and Wallerstein & Kelly's books on the effects of divorce on children. (Reviewed by Stephen D. Thompson) |
Mom's
House, Dad's House: Making Two Homes for Your Child--A
Complete Guide for Parents Who are Separated, Divorced,
or Remarried This is an excellent workbook on why and how to make joint custody work. This book consistently gives constructive guidance and practical help to parents going through a divorce. The book discusses the emotions of ending a marriage, how to take the first steps toward a new working relationship, how to relate to the other parent after the divorce process has begun, how to make two homes for the children, how to give your children security and continuity, extending parenting to include relatives and friends, long distance parenting, bottlenecks and breakthroughs, reinvolving the dropout parent or how to become reinvolved, and some suggested variations on time sharing between homes. (Reviewed by Stephen D. Thompson) |
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Co-Parenting: Sharing Your Child Equally--A Source
Book for the Separated or Divorced Family Publisher: Philadelphia, Running Press, 1980 (out of print and hard to find) |
What
Every Child Would Like Parents to Know About Divorce Publisher: Harper & Row, 1978 (out of print and hard to find) |
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Ex-Etiquette for Parents: Good Behavior After a Divorce or Separation Publisher: Chicago Review Press, 2004 |
Long Distance Parenting |
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101
Ways to Be a Long-Distance Super-Dad ---Or Mom, Too! (revised) This book offers help for the parent who lives or works distant from his or her children but wants to remain an important part of their lives. Communicating via the internet, watching TV programs "together" and helping with homework by telephone are some of the helpful suggestions. This is an excellent idea book to help overcome the problems in maintaining a meaningful relationship with your child when you are at a distance from that child. The website associated with this book's publisher, http://www.thebook.com/blossomvalley, also has links to a single mom's web ring, a single dad's web ring, and a divorced parent's web ring. (Reviewed by Stephen D. Thompson) |
Long
Distance Parenting: A Guide for Divorced Parents Publisher: New American Library, 1989 (out of print and hard to find) How to structure parenting contact when one parent lives a long distance away from the child. Recommended by Dr. Robert Silver. (Reviewed by Beth-Anne Thye Sexton) |
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Parenting
for Dummies This simple and clever book from the "for Dummies" series is full of practical tips and common sense advice for dealing with common parenting problems. |
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Parenting Magazine One of the best magazines for parents. Available everywhere or on the web at http://www.parenting.com |
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How
to Raise Happy, Confident Kids Three cassette tapes that cover rewards and punishments, building your child's self esteem, when your child misbehaves, setting limits, your family council, and bonding with your child. |
How
to be a Better Father Four cassette tapes that cover advice from the author, psychiatrist, educator, and father of four; Daniel Foss, psychiatrist and father; and Paul Walker, therapist and father. Topics: Why Fathers Want Guidance. Fathers' Changing Roles. The Myths and Realities. Ways to Bond with Your Child. What Kids Want to Hear from Dad. The Ages and Stages of Fathering. Saying No and Yes. Five Principles of Setting Limits. The Mother's Role. Teen Years: the Challenge and Opportunity. Teens Really Need Dad. How Your Own Life Stages Affect Fathering. The Single Dad. Five Truths for Today's Fathers. It's Never Too Late to be a Better Father. Answers to Tough Questions from Dads. Fathers, Daughters and Self-Esteem. |
Offered by ETC with Career Track (303) 440-7440 |
Offered by ETC with Career Track (303) 440-7440 |
Surviving
Divorce: How to Let Go of the Past and Rebuild Your Future Four cassette tapes. Tape 2 (both sides) gives advice for helping kids cope, including helping kids of different ages cope. |
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--a website filled with advice. You can enter chat rooms, read columns, and post questions to many doctors, nurses, and other experts. --a website with information on divorce and separation and other family issues such as caring for the elderly and disabled. The section on divorce and separation features information on alimony and visitation, taxation, mediation, and many other and related issues. --a website by Abuse Counseling and Treatment, Inc. It helps victims identify the symptoms of abusive relationships and gives helpful information on available options for abuse victims. --games, pictures and fun for kids of all ages --information, games and activities related to PBS television shows like Sesame Street, Barney, Arthur, and Teletubbies. |
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click to buy |
Stepmom A film starring Julia Roberts and Susan Sarandon It is a good movie to illustrate the problems of being a step mom and has a positive message. |
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