Series on Parenting

by Deborah Hansen

Make Your Own Summer Village

The kids are home for the summer, report cards have shown up in the mailbox, and our attention takes a turn toward home, even as we continue to manage our normal daily routines. What to do with our children as the days get longer and the temperatures rise becomes a paramount concern, one that requires the management skills of a CEO and the juggling technique of a circus performer. But we also know that time spins faster and faster as the months go by, and the school doors will open again just as our families have begun to enjoy their new routines.

With so many single parent families, our children are often relegated to long days in front of the television or a computer screen, wiling the hours away unsupervised. The kids are asleep when mom or dad leaves the house in the morning, quiet reigns, and the assumption (many times erroneously!) is often made that things stay like that during the rest of the day. The ease of this type of schedule is undeniable, with parents calling throughout the day to keep tabs on the children. But the world today is a different place, one that is only too eager to prey on young minds and bodies at every opportunity. So, as single parents, we must band together and utilize every resource available to make sure our children, including teenagers, are supervised properly.

Perhaps it is time to return to the “neighborhood” or community concept, whether that is a true geographic area, or one defined in other ways based on a specific group of families’ schedules. We can join forces with other families to pool our resources, especially that of time. Single parent units especially need this type of assistance, a banding together with other parents to provide the supervision that is essential, but often not provided, for our children. Schedules can be coordinated among four or five families to make sure that supervision and transportation to camps and other chosen activities is provided, while also periodically giving all parents in the group some free time away from these responsibilities, including their own kids.

Obvious settings from which to form these parent groups are faith-based organizations, neighborhoods, sports associations, and the workplace. Finding like-minded families smoothes the way somewhat with everyone being on the same wavelength regarding appropriate behavior expected and activities that are deemed acceptable for the young people in that group. Most importantly, though, we are creating our own village to watch over our kids to make sure that they are safe during the summer months.

Summer camps abound, offering everything from the arts to surfing, and this is a perfect way to occupy young minds while also giving them the opportunity to learn or reinforce a skill. The parent group provides the transportation on a rotating basis, and the children are occupied in a worthwhile activity. Many cities provide free or low-cost day camps through their recreation and parks departments, and the nearest school may also have summer camps, ranging from specific sports to computers. Dance schools, private schools, and churches and other faith organizations also organize summer activities for young people, and many of them offer these activities on a weekly basis, so you have many to choose from throughout the summer. Check local parent publications, newspapers, or the Internet for these listings.

Summer can be a time of renewal and rest for our children, but as parents, we must first be concerned with the safety of our young people, both in mind and body. In days gone by, our parents were able to trust the general society around them to look out for all kids, but unfortunately, those days are gone. So, organize their time in positive, productive ways with the help of other families, and prepare them for the beginnings of a new school year at the same time. They may not immediately appreciate the extra effort this takes on the part of the adult community, but as parents we will have the peace of mind of knowing that we did what it takes to care for the community of our children.

--May 2005

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Deborah Hansen is a veteran of divorced parenting, and a former middle school teacher. She is also a certified county court mediator, and a regular columnist for several parenting publications. She may be reached for comments and suggested topics at [email protected].

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